A Reflection on Public Speaking

As Session #5 approached on the calendar, I felt an increasing sense of dread. Session #5 would be mostly focused on building presentation skills and practice. Public speaking, even in the smallest of groups  - including simply being called on to speak in class throughout my entire academic career - made my heart race, my body shake, and my voice tremble. I hated speaking in front of others, and always preferred to communicate my thoughts in writing.

I was surprised to find that Session #5 would turn out to be my favorite Emerging Leaders session. It was certainly one of the most useful to me personally, as it helped me venture outside of my comfort zone and bolster a professional skill of mine that needed work. And it was also wonderful to hear my fellow Emerging Leaders speak, learn more about the work they do, and recognize how talented they all are.

Our guest for the day, speaker coach and consultant Jezra Kaye, was wonderful in facilitating a productive session. Not only did we have to give our prepared remarks, but she also put us on the spot to give impromptu instant speeches beforehand, which helped break the ice. While this was all nerve-wracking, everyone’s critical and positive feedback was so helpful. It also made me realize that I wasn’t as terrible at public speaking as I originally perceived myself to be, which has been very comforting.

That all being said, I’d like to share 3 key takeaways from that session that I think will help anyone who struggles with speaking in front of others:

1. Use an instant speech to communicate thoughts efficiently. Jezra shared the idea of an “instant speech” with us:

• Start with an objective key message
• Craft 3 sentences/points that support the key message
• Reiterate the objective key message

I must admit that I thought this process would over-simplify conversations at first, but when I saw it in practice, I realized that it made it so much easier to listen and absorb the points people were trying to communicate. It is certainly hard to come up with an instant speech on the spot, but I will carry it with me in my toolbox.

2. Be your best self. Jezra also shared the concept of creating a public speaking avatar to help calm the nerves and be our best selves when presenting in front of others. I chose qualities such as, “competent,” “warm,” and “passionate.”

3. Being scared is normal. There is a part of the brain called the amygdala that is triggered when it comes to public speaking for many people. Feelings of “fright, flight, and freeze” can overcome the body when it feels it is in danger. While it seems like common sense, the antidote to this is to be aware of what you bring to the table (in mind, body, mission, and personality), to prepare, and of course, to practice!

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In closing, I am posting this several days after our last Emerging Leaders session. I am still in awe of everything we have learned and accomplished together as a cohort. I am so grateful for everyone who made this program possible, our wonderful facilitator, Yael, and all of my fellow Emerging Leaders. This experience has changed my life and I will carry it with me not only in my career, but in personal growth as well.

I am truly "emerging" as a "leader"!

I have attended 7 sessions of the Emerging Leaders program, and the impact of these seven days will last a lifetime.  I remember rushing to get to the first session in lower Manhattan on a Sunday morning from my home in Westchester. It was a rough commute and I was depleted after hosting my daughter’s fifth birthday party (which had a hip hop danced theme) the previous day.  As I waited for a much delayed 1 train, I was uncertain about adding a new commitment to a very full plate of a working mother of two little ones.  Ten minutes into the first session, I knew that applying for Emerging Leaders was one of the best career decisions I have ever made. 

I was able to immerse myself in a community of open and kind young professionals who were struggling with similar issues in their nonprofit careers. During each session our bond grew closer as we tackled difficult topics and revealed personal stories. Yael is an amazing facilitator who guided us on the often tiring journey of self reflection. We explored a host of questions: Who am I? What are my strengths? How do others perceive me? What kind of leader do I want to be? How can I strengthen my weaknesses? What do I do with my Myers Briggs results? I like to work collaboratively; can that be detrimental to my success as a leader?  What can I do to compensate?  Through peer coaching exercises and group discussions, we were able to take time from our busy and demanding lives to truly think about ourselves in a safe environment. 

On the eve of my final session in the Emerging Leaders program I want to take the time to thank everyone involved including the Emerging Leaders staff, Yael, the speakers, my amazing fellows, and my supervisor for supporting this very important opportunity.  I truly feel like I am "emerging" from this program as a leader and a better person. In the January issue of O magazine, Oprah said “people often pursue a life or journey that doesn’t belong to them”. We have to learn our own path, by taking the time to learn about ourselves and making choices that “enhance the spirit” rather than “drain our power”.   Every CEO and Executive Director told a similar story the fellows –  no path to success is direct. You can only find the right path with missteps, understanding your behaviors and learning about yourself in relation to others.  Over the past 7 sessions, I have a better understanding of my own path. I know what sustains and drains me. I know what I need to do to make a difference in the nonprofit field. I will leave the last session with heightened self awareness, a wealth of knowledge, great skills, and great new set friends (who I will keep in touch with for years to come).

On Community

The past seven months have truly been a journey, and powerfully transitional. If you have read any of the other posts on this blog, perhaps that goes without saying. Emerging Leaders isn’t any old professional development experience – beyond participating in a program that assists me in developing core competencies and furthering my managerial skills, I exit each session feeling inspired to do and be more.

Each Fellow is so special, driven and inspiring in ways I wouldn’t realize without the skillful facilitation of each gathering. We’re each drawn outside of ourselves to see the bigger picture even as we look inward to explore the value we bring to our respective organizations. The peer coaching, distinguished panels and group discussions strengthen us. The curriculum alone has helped me to cultivate my own professional growth but for me it is in analyzing and sharing our experiences that the real learning happens. Yael, our facilitator, poses the right questions at the right time to foster a space where curiosity is encouraged, and exploration leads to results. 

Over the past few months, my core competencies have evolved for the better, and I feel my organization has already begun to benefit. Furthermore, I better understand myself and my role as part of a broader community committed to social justice. 

We rarely have the opportunity to liaise with others outside of our respective fields, and there is so much learning and skills sharing that we can clearly benefit from. My only regret (aside from the fact that as with all good things, this program must come to an end) is that I didn’t experience such a program earlier in my budding career. Little did I realize on day one of Emerging Leaders that these strangers around the table were to become my strongest community of peers; sounding blocks for ideas, champions of my professional development.

I was struck by a statement from a fellow Fellow (couldn’t resist) who remarked that it was exciting to feel this much professional growth within such a rapid timeline. Without a doubt I can attribute much of my continued evolution to Emerging Leaders – not only due to the valuable content of our curriculum, but even more so due to the relationships fostered around the table between Yael and each Fellow. It’s a community I’ve come to count on and am thrilled to be part of.

Filling a Need in Non-Profit

Last night Marie-Jouvelle Aubourg and I represented the Emerging Leaders Program at the Young Non-Profit Professionals Network (YNPN) Professional Development Fair.  That is a mouthful, but what it basically means is that we spoke with a variety of people working in and around the non-profit world (or hoping to) about Emerging Leaders and why they should apply.  We met a range of people from government agencies to community micro-lending orgs; recent grads to not so recent grads.  Regardless of where they were coming from, there was a striking commonality among them: many had been in their fields for several years, wanted to find a way to progress professionally, but didn't have access to any programs or internal support to help them do that.

Over the course off the evening, it became really clear that Emerging Leaders, with its emphasis on training early to mid-career non-profit professionals, is filling a huge need in the field.  People just lit up at the idea that they could step away from the crazy crush of their normal day and take some time to learn about leadership and growth.  They all bemoaned feeling stuck at their desks or in the field, and found it hard to even think about next steps, let alone talk to anyone or explore other opportunities.  The positive response to Emerging Leaders really demonstrated how much people are hungering for a program like this.

Talking about Emerging Leaders also reinforced to me the value I have been getting out of it, and was a great reminder to squeeze as much out of these last two months as possible.  I certainly hope some of those we spoke to will apply, and will in turn benefit the program with their ideas and different perspectives.

Beware of the T-Rex

There isn’t a more fitting and unavoidable time to play catch-up than in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy (albeit with electricity and Internet, so we are incredibly fortunate). One of the first things I did was open an email I had been avoiding: the video of our short presentations from our last Emerging Leaders session. No time (and no excuse) like the present, so I opened it.

With the inevitable cringe set on my face as I hit “Play” I was immediately struck by something – it was so much better than I thought! I then thought about my colleagues who had presented and I remembered being so impressed by the ease with which they commanded the front of the room, the relaxed use of their hand gestures, the intentional eye contact they made and the thoughtful insights they put forward. Were we all holding ourselves to the same double standard?

After we all presented we processed how it went. I remember saying, “I just want to do it again. I know I could do it much better!” I could see others mulling over their private self-critiques and wanting to take that second pass at it. That all being said, we all agreed, perhaps grudgingly, that we knew we probably did better than we thought.

Mark House, our guide and guru for day, could not have been more disarming and more engaging in the adrenaline-high session he ran before we all took our time in front of the camera. I remember thinking as the time for presentations grew nigh, “You could not ask for a safer environment to do this.”

And I was right. A few minutes after my presentation ended the chatter in my mind started to quiet. Later that evening I realized that I wanted to do it again not just because I thought I could do it better, but because I realized I actually like presenting. Through training and practice you can focus less on the mechanics of presenting and more on what you’re doing up there in the first place – making a case, presenting a new idea, sparking a dialogue, etc.

As I watched the video of my own presentation this morning I made note of the use of “t-rex hands” (when you plant your elbows at your sides and gesticulate like a tiny-armed dinosaur) and my personal habit of closing my eyes when I get nervous, but that aside I was happy with what I saw. More than that, I felt grateful for the opportunity to see myself as others do when I present because it will free my mind up the next time I am standing in front of a room. I now know that my “baseline” presentation skills are solid, so it’s just a matter of building upon an already strong foundation…and keeping my eyes open.

The Power of Positivity... Is real!

I'm so excited for tomorrow's Emerging Leaders Session! I read the book review last weekend on Positivity. As I was reading it, I was giddy with anticipation. The sheer thought of increasing my positivity, increased my positivity!  Being aware of your mood, your feelings, and what you are giving off to others really flips a switch inside.

I decided to take the positivity self test once at the binging of the week and again towards the end. It is fascinating how being aware of your own positivity levels, can really alter your state of thinking as well as productivity. I wonder if that's why I have the energy to write this blog entry now! :)

This session comes at such an opportune time; not only because it's our busiest time of year at iMentor, as we're matching thousands of High School students with mentors and launching numerous  large scale events (7+ in 3 months just at my school) but for life in general. 

A long time ago, I used to think positivity was limited. Example:  if I spent all my positive points at work, I wouldn't have enough left over for my personal life. So you had to spread them out. How in the world I did that I'm not sure.

I don't want to trudge around at home being negative and as we spend the majority of our time at our respective work places (typically 30 % - 45%) I don't want to be negative there either. I fancy the thought that positivity breeds more positivity and can create boundless positive reactions and cause us to flourish in our lives and professions.  It can be hard at first to uplift your own spirit and bring positivity to everything you do and to bring others with you but once you start it's hard to stop! I can't wait to hear every one's thoughts on the positivity ratios and hopefully Yael has some great tips on how to boost our own ratios!

Sending Happy Positive thoughts to all my fellow Emerging Leaders tonight!

See you in the AM,
Rossdlyn Palacio

Mentors - Lessons Learned

Without the encouragement of Emerging Leaders, I probably would not have sought out the two women who have now become incredible mentors in my life. 

I first had the great privilege of meeting with a strong, candid and independent woman who works as the Vice President of Administration for a private foundation focused on science research. She was the first person I have met in my parent's generation (age 65+) who gave me this advice: life is too long - not too short - to stay at the same job for years and years. take risks, leave if you're unhappy and try something new. don't let anyone tell you that in order to have a successful career you need to have worked at one place for 10+ years. Her fresh perspective was incredibly inspiring to me - and she was living proof of her own advice.   

My first mentor recommended that I also meet with her friend. She is the President/CEO of a historic girls-focused national non-profit. She too was incredibly open and honest, and I was struck with how down-to-earth she was even in such a prominent professional role. The questions that she asked me and the responses they solicited made it crystal clear how much my supervisor has invested in me as an employee. Our conversation inspired me to go straight to my supervisor to thank her again for supporting me, advocating for me and offering me so many important opportunities - including the Emerging Leaders program. 

Lessons learned? Seek opportunities that interest and challenge you - and take them. Don't turn them down because they don't fit into some prescribed path. Invest in your employees and remember to thank those who invest in you. 


- Julia FG Smith